Astrology, Witchcraft, and Wealth: Mysticism Meets Money📜💸

Welcome to this week’s whimsical edition of our newsletter, where magic meets money in the most unexpected ways! Today, we're exploring how the rich and famous have dabbled in the mystical to boost their fortunes. From tycoons using astrological insights to a movie star dating a professional witch (and an 🧠 Oxford grad, no less!), we’ve got a lineup that’s as intriguing as it is entertaining. 🌙✨

And just for fun, we’ll throw in a cheeky little guide on how to get the most out of your next fortune teller session. Because who says you can’t mix a little hocus-pocus with your hustle? 😉

In Today’s Edition

• 💰 The Modern Witch : Spellbinding or Just a Clever Grift?🧹🧙‍♀️

• 💰 Astrological Assets : Stars Align for Success! ✨

• 💰 Fortune Tellers : The New Wall Street Analysts? 🔮

• 💰 J.P. Morgan : Mystical Mogul 🪄

The Modern Day Witch: Spellbinding or Just a Clever Grift?  🔮🧹

 The Educated Enchantress 🎓

Imagine this: An Oxford PhD graduate trading her cap and gown for a pointy hat. No, it’s not a Halloween costume gone awry—it's a career move! Meet self described Professional Witch Kate Tomas, who decided that casting spells was more lucrative than cranking out research papers. And honestly? Can we blame her? 💰🧙‍♀️

The Celeb-Entangling Enchantress 🌟

When a Hollywood actor Andrew Garfield got "papped" with our Oxford-educated sorceress, the tabloids went wild. "Professional Witch Denies Using Spell to Trap Star!" screamed the headlines. Because apparently, in 2024, that's a thing we need to deny. 🤦‍♀️📰

Show Me the Money, Honey! 💵🍯

Now here’s where it gets juicy. Turns out, Ms Tomas isn’t just waving a wand—she’s waving goodbye to financial woes. These modern witches are raking in the cash (over £500k a success fee!) faster than you can say "Abracadabra!" 🪄💸

The Million-Dollar Question: Is it Legit ? 🤔💼

Is it all smoke and mirrors, or is there some real magic happening here? Do Witches exist? Well, in a world where people pay for bathwater and virtual real estate, who are we to judge? 🛁🏠 The real spell these witches are casting is on their bank accounts. And let's be honest, in this economy, who wouldn't want a little financial abracadabra? 🪄💵

Fortune Tellers: The New Wall Street Analysts? 🔮💰

Once upon a time, folks relied on boring old financial advisors with their fancy degrees and spreadsheets. But why settle for a CPA when you can have a CPM (Certified Psychic Medium)? 🧙‍♀️📊

How to Get Your Fortune (and Finances) Told

1. Find Your Mystic Moneybags: Skip Yelp, head straight to the shadiest looking storefront with neon palm signs. Bonus points if there's a cat in the window giving you the side-eye. 🐱💅

2. Prep Like a Pro: Forget your bank statements. Bring your zodiac sign, your mother's maiden name, and the last fortune cookie message you got. That's the real financial data, baby! 🥠✨

3. Trust Your Gut... or Gas: That rumbling in your stomach? It's either your intuition or that questionable street taco. Either way, pay attention! 🌮🔮

4. Decode the Divination: If they say "I see green in your future," it could mean money... or maybe you just need to eat more vegetables. Interpretation is key! 🥦💰

5. Diversify Your Divination: Why stop at one fortune teller? Get a second opinion! Or a third! It's like having a diversified portfolio, but with more incense and fewer dividends. 💨📈

 The Fine Print (in Invisible Ink, Naturally)

Remember, while Madame Fortune Teller’s crystal ball might be entertaining, it's probably not SEC approved. Maybe keep that boring old financial advisor on speed dial, just in case. 📞💼

So there you have it! Who needs Warren Buffett when you've got Wendy the Witch from down the street? Just remember, if your psychic starts offering stock tips, it might be time to reassess your investment strategy. Unless, of course, those tips come from a really convincing ghost. Then all bets are off! 👻💸

Wealth Through the Power of Mysticism: J.P. Morgan ✨💰

Ever wonder how some of the wealthiest people got that way? Well, it turns out a little hocus-pocus might have helped them along the way. Take J.P. Morgan, for instance. This guy wasn't just about railroads and steel; he had a penchant for the mystical. 💰🌠

J.P. Morgan: The Occult Banker Extraordinaire

Morgan wasn’t just any old financier; he had a thing for the occult. You can find his collection of occult art and books at the Morgan library. It’s said that Morgan’s mystical interests shaped his financial decisions and investment strategies, contributing to his monumental fortune. 📚💸

Famous Quote:

Morgan is often credited with the saying, "Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do." While this sounds pretty epic, the earliest documented mention of this quote is from 1989, long after Morgan's death. So, take that with a pinch of stardust. ✨

Astrological Consultations

According to Evangeline Adams, a renowned astrologer of the time, Morgan was a regular client. In her 1926 autobiography, she claimed to have read his horoscope many times and provided him with astrological services during the last years of his life. Apparently, consulting the stars wasn’t entirely unusual back then—astrologers were often hobnobbing with the elite. 💫💰

Beyond Astrology

While Morgan's foray into astrology is intriguing, let's not kid ourselves—his financial empire was built on business acumen and a hefty inheritance. The astrology bit? That was just a little extra sprinkle of magic later in life, after he'd already made it big as a banking titan. 🌟💸